Here is my second annual attempt to show everyone how smart I am and how much I’ve learned this year. Hopefully, I’ll look back on this in the years to come and see how little I really knew. That’ll be the best test of growth. Anyway, Here. We. Go.
- Break Up with Bad Friends – This one sucks! I didn’t even want to write it because it makes me so uncomfortable. But, friends that drag you down or don’t want the best for you need to be broken up with. Just because you grew up together or have been best friends since middle school doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Most guys I know (including me), aren’t mature enough to pull this off so we just let it continue no matter how harmful the relationship is. Just do it and don’t look back. On the business side, break up with bad customers. They’re not worth the trouble.
- Get Out of the House – People love posting Anthony Bourdain quotes and I’m no different. My favorite one I’ve seen recently is when he said, “I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of strategems to avoid, and outwit that guy.” I’ve got that guy inside me too, except I’m more of a video games and pizza guy. If you want to avoid that guy, step one is to just get out of the house. Go to the store. Take a walk. Do what you have to do. Once you’ve got momentum, your day will be much more productive.
- Water It Down – You don’t need a bottle of wine to relax. You don’t need to spend every hour with that special someone. You don’t need the whole pint of ice cream. Add moderation. Enjoy it all just a little watered down.
- Everything Has a Place – My good friend Ian is a successful dentist and great family guy. I’ve spent a lot of time at his new home during Covid, and he and his girlfriend are great hosts. The house is always organized even with two giant sized dogs as roommates. The reason? Everything has it’s place. There is something about successful people and organization. Not sure what it is but it’s true.
- One Hard Thing a Day – Like I said earlier, we all have that desire to take it easy. To push things until tomorrow. To become softer. Keep strong by doing one hard thing a day. When actual hard things happen, you’ll be ready because you do hard things.
- The World is Not as Competitive as You Think – The world feels like a competitive place. And maybe it is. There are tons of successful people out there and I’m glad to know many who are. But there are a lot of average people out there. To stand out may not be as hard as you think. Do the simple things and do them well. In my family owned roofing company, it seems as long as we communicate, show up on time, do the work and fix mistakes, then we’ve differentiated ourselves. And, people are grateful for it. Standing out may not be as difficult as you think.
- Smile – Try this out. Talk to someone with a straight face and look how they respond. Then, talk to another person with a smile on your face. Who responds more positively? I bet it’s the one you smiled at.
- Wear Pants – I look dumb in shorts. Not sure why. I just do. Side note: Has Donald Trump ever been seen in the wild in shorts? Then again, maybe I should wear shorts…
- Uber Eats is For Millionaires – I don’t remember getting an Uber eats meal under $25. If I did one uber eats meal a weeks, that’s $1,500 a year on delivered meals. If you make a modest salary of $40000 a year, you are spending 4% of your income on delivered food.
- Address the Elephant – Think of the problems you have with your health, your job or your relationships? Now, ask yourself, “Which ones am I putting off?” Face those problems.
- Make the Call – I hate calling people especially with tough news. That is dumb and an example of not addressing the elephant. Not communicating makes the problem worse. So, when you have hard news to share, don’t wait. Be upfront. Make that phone call.
- Negotiate Towards Peace – In every relationship, there are negotiations to be made. You negotiate with yourself. We negotiate with our partner. You negotiate with your coworkers. It’s a part of life. Understand both parties want what’s best. That’s ok as long as you both work to create a win-win situation.
- Accept Change (In the Pandemic) – For me, the most frustrating part of this virus is seeing people refuse to accept that things are different. “You can’t force me to put on a mask.” “I’ll go to the bars whenever I want.” Just accept that things are different and change, in the pandemic and life.
- Give Credit – Tell people they did a good job.
- Every Good Side Has a Shadow – Michael Jordan was a vicious teammate which is one reason the Bulls were so good. Hunter S. Thompson lived an insane life which made his writing stand out. Hilariouos friends are always a little mean which is what makes them funny in the first place. Your fit friend isn’t always fun to hang out with. A hard working partner may also not be able to give his or her full attention to the family. Accept that the strengths of others will also be their weakness.
- Focus on the One Thing – What is one thing that if you improved it, everything else would be better? Focus your effort on that one thing and see what falls into place.
- Shave Your Head – Ok, don’t cut your hair if you have great hair. But, if you’re going bald , do yourself a favor and shave it off. I had a bald spot and wasted time and money trying to fix it. Just shave it off.
- Hotels > AirBnB – The sleep in a hotel is always better than an Airbnb. The beds are always better. You control the temperature. You control the lighting. And, you go to bed away from everyone else when you want. Every big Airbnb I’ve stayed in says it sleeps 10 but they’ve only got 3 queen beds and a futon. That sleeps three, not ten.
- Friends > Money – A friend with a boat is better than owning a boat. But even if they don’t have a boat, a friend is better than gold. I really miss my friends from Buffalo since I moved back to Nashville over a year ago. I make more money now than when I lived in Buffalo but I would pay the difference to have those guys nearby.
- Home Gyms > Gyms – During the pandemic, I turned my living room into a powerlifting gym. And, it’s the best thing I’ve done in 2020. No commute, no waiting for a squat rack, no feedback on my deadlift form from some 20 year old Captain Fitness. I spent $2000 on my setup and I’d gladly spend another $2000. It’s that worth it to me. Build a home gym.
- Do a Picnic – Pack some food and drinks. Invite a friend or three. Go to a nice spot outside. Picnics are way better than many bars and restaurants, especially now.
- Do a Walk – Humans were not meant to be inside all day. It’s not good for us. Whenever you feel a little off, it may be that you just need to get out of the house and go on a walk.
- Do a Journal – Journaling is not for kids or hermits. It is for anyone working through problems. A journal can feel weird, but over time, it works. Commit to writing just one line a day for a consistent amount of time and see where it leads.
- Do a Hobby – We weren’t put on this earth to wake up, work, eat dinner, and go to bed. You need something more than the daily grind of life. You need a hobby.
- Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday; Not Who Others Are Today – I’m a single guy in his 30’s who has started a second career as the low man on the totem pole. Many of my friends are bigger successes than I am. Great! Who cares? Everyone is on their own path dealing with their own problems. You make that path harder when you compare yourself to where others are today. Write down the type of person you want to be. Work to become that person, and one day, it will happen.
- All Good Things Take Responsibility – Owning a dog, raising a family, getting fit, and building friendships are all great , and they all take responsibility. The best things in life come from taking more responsibility.
- Put Your Cart Back – The world is full of problems we don’t know how to fix. You want to know one thing you can do to make things better? Put your cart back in the cart corral.
- Meditation is Hard – Meditation is (supposedly) great. I wouldn’t know even though I’ve tried. Why? Because it’s hard to do.
- The Toughest Boss is the Best Boss – Steve Jobs, Nick Saban, and countless other famous entrepreneurs are notoriously tough bosses. Their toughness is not the only reason they succeed but it is a big part. They make everyone around them better. Work for people who have high expectations. You will be better for it.
- Alcohol is worse than I think; Nicotine isn’t as bad I think – Malcolm Gladwell brought this idea up on the Joe Rogan podcast and it’s stuck with me. If you were to rate cigarettes, alcohol and marijuana from least to most damaging, how would you rank them? You’d probably put alcohol as least damaging and cigarettes and weed would be most damaging. But, In Gladwell’s opinion, that order should be reversed. I’ve always accepted that alcohol was the least damaging of the three drugs but in my personal experience, alcohol has caused far more problems than the other two. I’m not sure Gladwell is spot on, but I think he has a point.
- Breath Through Your Nose – Apparently, we should all breath through our nose not your mouth. I’m not a doctor so that’s all I will say.
- Joe Rogan isn’t Right About Everything – The last two ideas come from the Joe Rogan podcast. I repeat a lot of what I’ve heard on his show as if it were my own ideas. That’s ok but be careful. The point is to quit taking everything your pastor or spouse or boss says as absolute truth. Test out their ideas. Find friends who will poke holes in your beliefs. If you can’t answer all every objection, you still have more to learn.
- Anger is Always the Wrong Response – My biggest regrets as a teacher, basketball player, brother, and friend has always been when I lost my cool. It never ends well. Staying calm in an argument is a super power we should all hope to develop.
- Suffer – “Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.” – Jerzy Gregorek. No success has ever come from choosing comfort over suffering. Go on the hike, start the side business, make the tough phone call, skip the doughnut. You get the point.
- Know You’re Going to Die – Ending on a high note. I keep a jar in my living filled with 50 stones. The stones represent the years I have left if I live until 85. Every year, I take one out. It’s morbid but a necessary reminder. We get one of these trips on earth. Don’t stay in a job you hate. Move to the big city. Ask that person out. Quit worrying about things that don’t matter.
If you read until the end, thanks. You probably are a friend with my phone number. Text me which numbers you liked and which ones you’d change.
The House of Improvement 