On Moving

You may be thinking about moving cities.  

I’ve lived in four cities in the last ten years.  I’m back in my hometown of Nashville after living in New Orleans, Denver, and Buffalo. 

Here’s what I learned.

Think of moving as a bet.  You are betting the new city will be better for you than staying in your current city.

What are the odds you will win or lose?  How certain are you that the bet will work out? 

You can never know for certain what will happen but knowing your odds can help.

Test the move.  Rent a place in the new city for a summer/month/ten days.  See how it feels before making a more permanent decision.

Consider the second and third level consequences.

When I moved to Denver, I had the benefit of being able to ski every weekend.  I didn’t consider that everyone else had the same plan.  Traffic jams, long lift lines, and expensive resort fees were real consequences I didn’t consider.

You may love the excitement a big city brings, but life will be more expensive.  The secondary consequences may be that you are forced to increase your income by working longer hours in a higher stress job.

You may love the pace of a small town but understand life won’t be as convenient or exciting as a big city.  The consequence may be that you are bored and lonely more often.

You will form new relationships.  Your old relationships will weaken.

It can take time to establish friendships and social routines.  Push yourself out of your comfort zone to meet people.  And, be ok with being lonely and bored some of the time.

You will be surrounded by a community with different values.  Your current values may change.

Moving causes change.  Change is hard but rewarding.  Be okay with the hard parts and embrace the changed person you will become.

Don’t make the decision after a big stressor occurs in your life.  Break ups, deaths, job loss, and other painful events cloud your thinking.  The pain you feel won’t go away just because you moved to a new city.  Deal with stress before making a move.

Get rid of excess stuff.  It makes moving harder.

In the end, moving is like going to college. It’s probably not right for everyone, but the people who never moved, like the people who never went to college, will always have a “What If?” feeling in the back of their mind. If you don’t like that “What If?” feeling, then just make the move. You can always go back.